Bacon and Ovaries

I had contractions yesterday morning. They were about two minutes apart and extremely painful. At noon I gave birth...to a large mound of gooey uterine lining.

I've had my period for almost two weeks now and I'm getting pissed off with this so called Perimenopause, which occurs for several years before actual menopause and sometimes precedes menopause by as many as fifteen years. Holy Shit!


Did you know that menopause is not actually called 'menopause' until one year after your last period?

Many women begin experiencing symptoms of pre or perimenopause several years before menopause occurs. The age when the signs of premenopause occur varies among women. Some women experience the symptoms of perimenopause in their early thirties, while other women may notice menopausal signs in their forties, and still other women never experience any changes during menopause.

Menopause, the word, is a combination of two Greek words which mean month and terminate. Translated literally menopause means "the end of the monthlies."

Symptons include increased fat around the waist (which explains why none of my clothes fit), loss of muscle mass and increase in fat tissue, as well as having headaches, memory problems, and joint and muscle stiffness or pain, and of course, the sweats.

Does this mean I've been perimenopausal for 10 years now?