Sabrina August 20, 1992

Both my kids like the story about the day they were born. Sabrina was our first and with that came all the books about birthing babies and raising them and what to expect and all the other nonsense we're sucked into believing as the gospel truth.

I didn't expect false labour, 5 million times, nor did I expect an eventual forcep delivery, where she rightfully is known within our immediate family as the ugliest kid ever born. Her face was bruised and marked up as blood and womb guts spurt out hitting the ceiling. Hubby felt obligated to watch, because of the books, apparently gagging at each stroke of the butcher's knife as he slit my vagina up into a smile, like the Black Dahlia's.

Out she came, an ice cream scoop, as I held her close to my chest, all covered in syrup, the cardboard bowl positioned under my chin as I ready myself to puke an over indulgence of sugar. Instead, I fainted due to blood loss, as bells and whistles rushed hubby out of the room, only after briefly grasping her little hand that had squeezed back, hello daddy.

There really wasn't a hello mommy. I think a hello Auntie Corinne came first, then how y'a doin' gramma and grampa and cousins and who in the hell ruined my first photo shoot!

It's like I just woke up from coma and already she's 16 frickin' years old. It was just yesterday.

What are you doing? "Nothing"

As most of you know by now, we do not get along with our neighbours, the Nutfucks. They were away for a month, yippee! and it was incredibly peaceful and harmonious, other neighbours wandered outdoors, we conversed openly, laughed, drank beer in complete freedom, without snagglepuss coming out to complain about this and that.

One night one of their visitors had the balls to park here.....



I was fuming, thinking they just got back from vacation and already want to provoke us, pester us. I took the picture so that I would have evidence of how they act and create problems in the street. I was even going to call the police complaint line and have them send a patrol car around, else a tow truck because it was blocking our Hummer...it is incredibly rude to park and block someone's vehicle like that, what were they thinking.

Hubby was about to leave when we spied the culprit. It was our other neighbour who parked there, his tenant's new boyfriend! What nerve, he could have parked in front of that house instead. Honestly, sometimes people are so fucking stupid.

Anyways, I haven't been able to take pictures this summer because of not having a battery charger, but I was able to use a friend's, which allowed me to take a few pictures. Here's hubby watering the grass (or his Hummer...hmmmm)






Hubby took about 300 pictures of the inards of his pride and joy, which I promptly offloaded to some designated folder marked "his crap".






Sylvester is 16 years old now, an outdoor cat. Isn't he pretty, just sitting there all princely. He looks nice in summer after losing his fur coat and come Fall/Winter he almost doubles in size. Not sure if he has many seasons left in him and it worries me because there are many coyotes and racoons in the area, not to mention nutfuck's speeding in the street.






Sabrina's friend was picked up by her Dad the other day in this fancy BMW, and where he is parked is actually our parking space, however, I was still wondering if romanian squish-face would come running out, perhaps to set up her sprinkler so that water sprayed inside the car.







I own the crappiest web camera on Earth but this doesn't stop Sabrina from taking pictures of herself. Geez, is she vain or what? Thing is, they all do it, take pictures of themselves in various poses and 'moods'.

We're off to the lake after work tonight, weather predicted to be mid 30's, but feeling like 40c. We are invited to a pig roast on Saturday, with live band, which is at Tony and Sandy's new place, our friends who purchased a 6 acre farm in Cloverdale.

"Falling" Movie Scenes

Crank , starring Jason Statham, plays professional assassin 'Chev Chelios' who learns his rival has injected him with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops. This movie has a fun falling scene. We first saw Jason in the movie, Snatch, about unscrupulous boxing promoters, violent bookmakers, a Russian gangster, incompetent amateur robbers, and supposedly Jewish jewelers who fight to track down a priceless stolen diamond. (also starred Brad Pitt)




Cool, eh...the wink...is he alive still? Could it be? Yes, Jason fans, there is a Crank 2 in the works, as we find Chelios facing a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working. Thank God!












Vanilla Sky, starring Tom Cruise, plays a successful publisher who finds his life taking a turn for the surreal after a car accident with a jaded lover.



And other famous falling scenes:

Beijing Fast Food

(click on images to enlarge)

Running On Empty

Eight months ago I began to feel tired and weak. I couldn't walk 10 steps without having to catch my breath. Nor could I walk up stairs without huffing and puffing, showering, washing dishes, even standing made me feel lethargic.

After one week of camping, where I resigned myself to the confines of the trailer, missing out on the beach, walks under the stars, boating, I decided it was time to haul my ass into the doctor's office. I hate my doctor.

"I can't breathe", I explain, as he stabs my chest with his stethoscope.

"You're lungs are fine", then he begins to scribble away on a pad of paper, and tosses me a list of blood tests I will need, and an EKG. Oh, great, just great. Son of a bitch thinks it's my heart and I'm gonna' die.

During the electrocardiogram the nurse had commented my heart beats were "not within their normal statistics". Oh, great, just great.

Two days later and back at my doctor's office, the results are revealed. I do not have enough blood in me. It's supposed to be 115...I have 78 of whatever that means, and I need to get to emergency right away for a blood transfusion.

One urethra catheter later, one failed external ultrasound later, one internal ultrasound later, one chest x-ray later, one failed intravenous line on hand later, two painful failed insertions in arm later, 8 hours later and two pints of blood,

priceless.

Surrey Memorial and doctors, nurses and staff were excellent. I was wheeled here and there, examined by many specialists, blood pressure & heart rate monitored every 15 minutes (in case I had allergic reaction to the new blood),

priceless. Thank God I live Canada.

What was wrong with me? Turns out I have a huge fibroid, and my menstrual cycles have been extremely heavy, thus the loss of blood, eventually the loss of oxygen to my vital organs, thus the rapid heart beats.




Fibroids are muscular tumors that grow in the wall of the uterus (womb). Another medical term for fibroids is "leiomyoma" or just "myoma". Fibroids are almost always benign (not cancerous). Fibroids can grow as a single tumor, or there can be many of them in the uterus. They can be as small as an apple seed or as big as a grapefruit. In unusual cases they can become very large.

About 20 percent to 80 percent of women develop fibroids by the time they reach age 50. Fibroids are most common in women in their 40s and early 50s. Not all women with fibroids have symptoms. Women who do have symptoms often find fibroids hard to live with. Some have pain and heavy menstrual bleeding. Fibroids also can put pressure on the bladder, causing frequent urination, or the rectum, causing rectal pressure. Should the fibroids get very large, they can cause the abdomen (stomach area) to enlarge, making a woman look pregnant.

To resolve the future loss of blood through menstruation, there were two choices:
Hysterectomy (surgery to remove the uterus) or an IUD (intrauterine device) called Mirena® contains a small amount of progesterone-like medication, which can be used to control heavy bleeding, which is what I'm going to get.