Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Factual Pulp Fiction

I hate when Sabrina goes out with that girl.

Why is she like this.........she has been treated like a princess since birth, a spoiled, pampered little girl, yet there are thousands of little girls just like her who don't become "lazy, partying, drunks".  The obvious answers are 'who she hangs with'.   There are some special circumstances,  however,  that explains her behavior, with her visual impairment and loss of sight.   We were warned by child psychologists of future episodes of retaliation and depression because blind kids cannot drive and eventually they build up a persona of undesirability.

Prognosis:  Suicide is a probability.

We pick her up at 4:00am, because the sky train doesn't run now. We pick her up because she's screaming and crying and says she's hurt.   She argues and swears and screams "COME GET ME NOW". It's not the  first time we've received this call in the dead of night.  It occurs frequently.   Sometimes the police pick her up and she's taken to 'drunk tank'.  Sometimes they bring her directly home.

And then when she arrives, we lay in bed awake all night because she's hungry and she has decided to cook bacon and eggs, or sandwich or Kimchee noodles, and there's a mess of mayonnaise and maple syrup on three flights of stairs and milk spills, and the fire alarm sounds and bacon is burning.

She runs a bath and I hear her snore and will certainly drown.  I shyly peek into the bathroom to check and she's dead calm, legs spread eagle with mascara smudges smearing down her eyes.  Her body isn't like mine, not a template of me.  She is much different.  It is obvious she has had a brazilian wax job, her tits are perkier.  I boast to myself I was in much better shape than you are at your age.

Of course tomorrow, when she's sober, she will have forgotten everything.   She'll cover herself quickly in towel if I walk into her room while she's dressing, cover her breasts and demand privacy.  I keep my mouth shut.  No use going there.

I open the drain to allow the water to escape in the hopes the chill of the air will awaken her -- and it does -- to some extent..  She rises and I blanket her in towel.  Then I stand by and watch as she falls asleep then that girl calls.




Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Astonished!

There are a lot of people who walk in and out of my life.

 There are my personal ones, the brief acquaintances of a friend of a friend of a friend, shopping, boating, gambling, camping and work.  Sometimes, by the quirkiness of coincidence, we know each other - we connect and recognize each other by threads of historical events and parties and weddings and funerals and graduations and births and so on and so on.

Usually, we all take our recognition of each other in stride.    It doesn't seem to matter anymore that our little village is now a large populous one.

There is a gentleman who comes to bowl on Tuesday afternoons,   I think he's a member of the regular league who come to bowl once a week.   He has the nicest smile, it projects a warmth of contentment and happiness.    He's always dressed smartly, jeans and a collared golf shirt.   He's well groomed and his eyes sparkle as he says "HI" to me.   I think he has a crush on me.

I'm punching in, the alleys are smashing down pins, the front desk staff have once again turned the music system on too loud and the kitchen aroma of the grill now wafts towards me.   This is what I encounter each and every day when I arrive at work.    Except on Tuesdays, when well-groomed, smiley faced gentleman is there.

I probably wouldn't have paid attention to him - until I retained my recognition of people at the bowling alley.       Hundreds of people come and go and I feel no connection to them whatsoever, except for Tuesdays.

Last week I arrived to work as usual to the smell of hamburgers and onions on a brioche bun and the knock down of pins and loud music, and my gentleman.   Except this time he was being escorted back to his bowling lane by a special needs counselor.   He was smiling at me, like he usually does upon my arrival at work.   I watched as he rejoined his group at the lanes.

There are a lot of people who walk in and out of my life, but so few who astonish me.


Saturday, April 20, 2013

You know you're a Redneck 80's Office Employee when ....

You know you're a redneck 80's office employee when you had to make space on your desk for a box as large as your television set at home, with cables dangling between your legs, and it had connotations it will replace you eventually within the near future, so be prepared to say goodbye to your pension plan and any security of home ownership, livelihood, existence.

The robots were coming and everything was going to be run by computers.   And then they would say, "but the computers need to be operated by humans - so no one is losing their jobs".  And we all believed them.

In a lot of ways the computer industry created a ton of jobs, but not for those of us who were already in our 20's working in the 80's.

MTV and music videos, for example, didn't appear on television until 1981, with the first music video shown, "Video Killed the Radio Star" and the second by Pat Benatar "You Better Run".  I am a fan of neither.

I am a fan of pre-MTV video music, which are now presented in a 'one frame pictorial' of an album cover in YouTube, or you can choose the "live" version of said band and song, albeit 30 years later, which seems sort of depressing because the band is all old and fat and they have grey hair and they're old and fat.

And they use to say, "you'll never grow old".  And we all believed them.

This is just a generalization - some bands have remarkably renewed themselves, for example, The Rolling Stones appearing this summer with their new "50 & Counting" North American Tour. I must say, Mick's not fat, but he's not the prettiest girl at the dance either.



I am a big fan of Chilliwack - from years gone back, yet I still love their music. There are few images of them in the olden days, and not much posted on YouTube - after all, they were who they were pre-computers, pre-Windows, pre-FB, pre-iPhones .... following are links to songs I enjoyed in my youth, and of course, in my extended youth.






Monday, April 15, 2013

Norman Bates - Welcome Home, you son of a bitch!

From Wikipedia:
Bates Motel is an American drama television series developed for television.  The series, being a "contemporary prequel" to the 1960 film Psycho, depicts the life of Norman Bates and his mother Norma prior to the events portrayed in Hitchcock's film, albeit in a different fictional town ("White Pine Bay, Oregon," as opposed to the film's "Fairvale, California") and in a modern, 21st-century setting. The series begins after the death of Norma's husband, when she purchases a motel located in a coastal Oregon town so she and Norman can start a new life.

The series was filmed in Aldergrove, British Columbia **not far from my homestead in Surrey, straight down Hwy #1**  and premiered on March 18, 2013.  A&E chose to skip a pilot of the series, opting to go straight-to-series by ordering a 10-episode first season.

On April 8, 2013, A&E renewed Bates Motel for a second season, following positive reviews and strong ratings. It is set to air in 2014 and filming will began in the summer of 2013.

Love this show. Strange.  Love Vera Farmiga.



 And for your musical pleasure, a perfect pairing:

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Rolling Stones will never, ever gather moss....

My history with the Rolling Stones, and that of my husband's, is too vast and complicated and bizarre. It's a story that almost sounds like folklore, a fairly tale, which is only just being talked about now between the generations, at camp under nightfall and crackling fire. It is all true, however. Every single fucking word. We were that close, as his spittle sprayed to the front row. We were there.






Time for a hair cut ....

Summer approaches, I don't want to deal with my head! But if I ever see a hairdresser pull out one of those damned razor things, in my opinion, the lazy hair cut, I'll scream bloody murder! Insist on good old fashioned scissors. Layering my thick hair creates curls - unruly curls. Maybe I'll go with bangs this time.


Jann Arden - I Would die For You



Twitter: the place where you don't have to know how to spell gooder

I just started using Twitter ... come follow me for my one sentenced ramblings, because that's all they allow on one posting. And because everyone using Twitter are movie stars and famous people, so I thought I'd pretend I was one, too. Hopefully someone will stupidly ask me for my autograph.

https://twitter.com/colleencanuck

The Band - The Night they drove Old Dixie Down

Elton John and lyricist Bernie Taupin wrote the song "Levon" for Helm. Both Elton John and Taupin cited that they were inspired by Levon Helm, Bernie saying so in various interviews on how they would "go down to their favourite record stores to buy The Band's records" along with Elton.

From Wikipedia:
Mark Lavon "Levon" Helm (May 26, 1940 – April 19, 2012) was an American rock musician and actor who achieved fame as the drummer and frequent lead and backing vocalist for The Band. Helm was known for his deeply soulful, country-accented voice, multi-instrumental ability, and creative drumming style highlighted on many of the Band's recordings, such as "The Weight", "Up on Cripple Creek", and "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down". He also had a successful career as an actor, appearing in such films as Coal Miner's Daughter and The Right Stuff. In 1998, Helm was diagnosed with throat cancer, which caused him to lose his singing voice. After undergoing treatment for the disease, his cancer eventually went into remission, which allowed him to gradually regain use of his voice. His 2007 comeback album Dirt Farmer earned the Grammy Award for Best Traditional Folk Album in February 2008, and in November of that year, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him No. 91 in the list of The 100 Greatest Singers of All Time. In 2010, Electric Dirt, his 2009 follow-up to Dirt Farmer, won the first Grammy Award for Best Americana Album, a category inaugurated in 2010.  In 2011, his live album Ramble at the Ryman was nominated for the Grammy in the same category and won.  On April 17, 2012, his wife and daughter announced on Helm's website that he was "in the final stages of his battle with cancer" and thanked fans while requesting prayers. Two days later, Helm died at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City.

Following is Elton John - singing Levon, which I believe to be one of his best songs ever written.


Saturday, April 13, 2013

I am the most fabulous person in the world - I don't need 1 million Twitter followers to prove it!

Daughter went out tonight - so begins the worry,  because she's leaving with the one we absolutely detest, the drunken, "let's party" always on her mind, no good for nothing, crack head friend, cell phone, expensive clothing, bank card withdrawal, thief!   Since daughter is visually impaired, crack head friend knows her PIN on her ATM card, and while daughter gets good and shit-faced after two beers, the bank card heads out on secret journey, eventually returned to her purse in the dead hour.

But as parents, what do we know! We've got it all wrong. Sadly, daughter had TWO friends like this, until a few months ago, when Leeanne entered recovery.
Her facebook says things like: "so mad that the programming is changing so much here. recovery is supposed to be about coping, and stability, not about dysfunctional bs because you're so lonely, doesnt mean you should make us lonely, dont worry i seeee you"
or things like: "Be the change that you want to see in the world - Ghandi"

Here's a recent picture of the new Leeanne, at a blanketing ceremony at young wolves lodge



Here's a picture of the girls together.

Bravo to Leeanne - she looks so much healthier, stronger, happier.  I hope she keeps it up, perhaps the girls will start thinking about other activities, like:


I had to give up my own addiction - since I work now - loved playing Facebook games, especially Hidden Chronicles.  I think I had the most fabulous estate going....


Before I got my new job, I came across an advert, listing the requirements of the job, education, experience, etc.  They also asked for a photo of yourself and salary expectations.  I sent them this, along with a request for night shift work only.



Some people change, others cannot.  I think I'll always be cynical, judgmental, satirical, hysterical and comical.  But mostly, I'll always be brave in thought and tongue and will never lose hope and belief in myself, and others.



Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Peacock Video

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=283546625111582

Here's a video of one of the many peacocks that live in the wild surrounding my neighborhood.  There are several - note the birds on verandas, fences, etc in this video, if you can keep your eyes of his beautiful plumage.


Sunday, April 07, 2013

The Great Gig in the Sky

As far as I remember before, our link to a commonality of self, inner belief, life.  One song.  One record.  The depth, the rumors, the tabloids, Rolling Stone, other famous bands, fans, groupies, Time.

We were there.  We lived it.  Live, in person.  And nothing in this world can take that away from us, not even the Wizard of Oz.  The prism, so much like the triangular space ships now focusing on Earth.  To this day we believe Pink Floyd are aliens, surely they must be!  The music is too fantastic, we can't hear all at once.  It comes in pieces, a million times, and it's only our brains that accept the speed in which we accept the reality of it all, the perfection of perfect.

We had two tickets to concert, but I could not go.  Panic surrounded me because the triangular ships had come the week before.  It would take months before I could step outside beneath the prism sky.

Thankfully, buddy Steven had chopped off the tip of his thumb at a lumber yard accident 3 months earlier, which resulted with a hefty $8,000 sorry pay cheque from Worker's Compensation, which was used for a limo hire and all the booze they could drink.  A fun time was had by all, so I heard.

I eventually returned to work, reducing my Xanax intake to caffeine and faded memories of fear.  One song remains, however, the one I listen to whether I want to or not, the album still plays between breaths and sudden disruption of sleep and the unusual objects in the sky.  They are warning me........

Light speed has since passed.

To better understand, I have provided a link to the entire Dark Side of the Moon album, so you can make up your own minds.  And maybe one day, you'll be privileged & awakened to see them, too.


Saturday, April 06, 2013

Dig Deep Clams - a Chip Oddity

I submitted a few taste sensations for Lay's Potato Chips contest - invent a new flavor, no problem!  After all, it was Canadians who created Ketchup and Dill flavored chips !  It's true, look it up.

Open until April 15, create new flavors (up to three ingredients) - and four finalists will be selected to win $5,000.00, and if your flavor is the new hit wonder, you'll receive $50k and 1% of future sales.  

America just completed their first phase of finalists, with Cheesy Garlic Bread, Chicken and Waffles, and Sriracha being the top winners.

Easy-peasy ... honestly, Sriracha!  That stuff is so predominant here in Canada, it's everywhere, a frickin' condiment - you have to ask for it to be left OFF the dish!  But, what's with Chicken & Waffles - it's a confusion of breakfast and dinner - I just don't get it.  Does explain the obesity problem though.

Here's what we Canuckle-heads yearn to titillate our mouth buds with:


Cranberries and Horseradish
Honeycomb and Beef Jerky
Truffle and Parmesan cheese
Wasabi & ginger root

ALL SERVED WITH POUTINE and a 1-800 number to ban seal hunting.


....and my favorite:  Geoduck & Garlic, aka Dig Deep Clams

*plagiarism starts*
Pronounced "gooey-duck", the name comes from the Nisqually Indian "gwe-duk" meaning "dig-deep"
Geoduck clams are found throughout coastal British Columbia in each of the management areas from the intertidal zone to depths of at least 110 metres. The clams begin to burrow into the substrate within 40 to 50 days of birth, and they can bury to a depth of 60 cm in two years. Few predators can reach them once they are successful in achieving this depth. A geoduck grows rapidly for the first 10 to 15 years. By that time, it has grown so large that its shell cannot close around it. Recruitment to the fishery begins at age four and by age 12, geoducks are fully vulnerable to harvest. They are harvested individually by divers using a directed water jet called a "stinger" which loosens the substrate around the clams and allows them to be lifted out. Commercial geoduck harvesters can tell where the clams are buried by their "shows" (the visible exposed tip of a siphon or dimple left in the sand from a retracted siphon), and divers are expert "show readers" whether by sight when the weather is good or by feel in zero visibility conditions.
*plagiarism ends*